And so there you have it - a picture of man who's gone through the woods and come out second-best. And with a fetching 'stache.

I may not have raised the most amount of dosh (the pissing contest of the fundraising part of this gig was never my bag), but with my rollercoaster of health issues over the month of November, I've been in the rather fortuitous position of being able to have open, honest and stark conversations about men's health with mates, work colleagues, associates and (on a rather bizarre afternoon) a couple of deros down the road. And that's what this Movember Malarky really is all about - raising real awareness amongst us blokes that getting that weird little lump, or that strange feeling in the nads region, or that not-quite-happy feeling in noggin, checked out. It's the difference between being a bloke and being a dickhead.

Oh, and finishing up the month by being delivered a clean bill of health is fucking tops.

Magnum PI got a taste for blood... and he liked it.

The mo really does bring out my new ear-to-chin scar. It's quite fetching. Now hand over the Movember cash or I'll do to you what I had done to a portly lad known as Carl Williams.

Get some man up ya, twerps

So the eminent Guru Bob reckons this is all about fundraising, eh? Well I say pish tosh to that. He's simply obfuscating, deflecting and playing the ole switcheroo to distract us from the fact that he is so lacking in testosteroney goodness that his mo is a mere shadow. Ladies - I present you with the benchmark of manliness, day 6. See it and swoon, fuckers.

I seem to have something in my eye.

Oh hello chin, my ole pal

It's been a few years since I've seen my chin. Must say, since the trim this morning I can't get used to it. The thoughtful beard-stroke is now a gesture of outright wankiness (it was suave beforehand, you see), looking off into the middle distance with that pensive stare now just looks like I'm constipated, and that seriously funny gag of letting the cappuccino froth settle in the top lip bristles sadly falls flat.

The ladies at work are going to shit bricks when I rock up in the morning.